1. David Dimbleby

Recorded to analogue tape by Luke Oldfield at Tilehouse Studios
mixed by Ben Kelly


Welcome everyone to tonight’s debate 
I’ve got a feeling that something is going to break We’ve got some bleeding hearts out here on my left And then a racist tells you he’s talking common sense It’s not common sense I’m the chair, respect my suit and tie
 I’m so impartial I don’t come here to take sides I’m adding nothing, I’m taking nothing away
 While the masters of division are multiplying again We’re still playing their games... they go Here are some words that the world’s been waiting Here are some words that the world’s been waiting Here are some words that the world’s been waiting for.. It’s alright it really is 
No it’s not 
But we might as well act like it 
‘Cause you know being a realist
 Well it ain’t really gonna help with anything It’s alright it really is 
Kim jong un’s got a nuclear warhead
 It’s ok he’s just posturing
 He’s measuring his nob but we’ve got a bigger one Ladies and gentlemen now you’re all vexed up
 Let’s take a question from that shifty guy at the back On today’s front page there’s something I oppose There’s no substance in his question 
the substance is all in his nose
 And that’s why our panel seem to know exactly what he’s talking about. Now Calm Down, don’t you talk over me 
I’ll point my pen at you I’m David Dimbleby This is my circus and you, you are my clowns So Speak when your spoken to
but right now shut up and sit down It’s all gone wrong it really has
 Come on mate, you’ve gotta put a smile on it Nah, you know being a pessimist 
Well it might just help us identify a problem before it occurs It’s all gone wrong it really has
 Help us Jesus or Buddha or Superman 
‘Cause you know being a Cartoonist
 You can pull out a truth you won’t see in a photograph It’s alright it really is
 We’ve got to bomb the hell out of something ‘Cause you know being a pacafist
 Well that won’t make anyone rich Well we’ve not really got to the bottom or frankly agreed about anything but we’re out of time so you know, roll the credits. Next time we’ll be discussing the existential status of the soul, specifically in relation to gingers. Tune in the to find out more when we’ll be coming at you from Canterbury where our audience think they’re better than you. I’m inclined to agree.